Monday, November 23, 2009

Top Reasons Why Furkids Are Purrfect....

Evil-ly compiled by Brad.

Reason 1:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

Reason 2:
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

Reason 3:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

Reason 4:
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

Reason 5:
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

Reason 6:
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

Reason 7:
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

The purrfect child! Me!!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Welcome to Australia!!!

Someone emailed this to me. Thought I might just share them with everyone.

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only on Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Indeed, laughter is the best medicine! meow!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Big Cat Has Landed

What big cat? The Lion King? New tiger at the Taronga Zoo?

No, we're talking about the two legged one. That very handsome, tall and super rich Tiger Woods. Everytime we switched on the telly there'll be visions of him playing at the Kingston Heath Golf Club in southeast Melbourne.

The Australian Masters officially start today but the hype about Tigger (that's my personal pet name for him) started way back in December last year. By coming here, he's added another US$3 million (AUD$4.5 million) to his ever growing bank account. That's his standard appearance fee outside the USA, apparently. The last time he soiled his shoes with Aussie dust was in 1997 when he played in the Presidents Cup.

Tigger about to pounce on the fairway. (pix by Getty Images)

The Aussie media reports that Woods’ appearance is expected to generate close to $20 million dollars in economic benefits to the state of Victoria through tourism and worldwide exposure via international TV coverage. His appearance has also been publicly backed by some of Australia’s biggest golfing names with many excited at the prospect of the huge galleries that always accompany an appearance by the world number one.

So if you see visions of a very sleek, properly behaved furry feline shadowing Tigger on his golf rounds, that will be yours truly. I dream about you.

"Angelina, stop day dreaming. You can only go to the golf club if you're willing to wear the checked pants and caps I bought you for Halloween," Mama suddenly came into the picture and continued, "Can't have you prancing naked for all the world to see."'re raining on my parade. You know I'm not an exhibitionist.

By the way, just checked ticket prices, Tiger Airways offering only $28 one-way Sydney to Melbourne. hmmm...I'm drooling at the prospect. meow!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Our First Cherries

Announcing the arrival of the cherry season in Australia. Aah...the sweet and sour taste of a ripe cherry will linger on your tongue for time immemorial.

To say the juicy fruit is my all time favourite is indeed an understatement. It is my FAVOURITE ever! Apart from Angelina plum, that is. So I'm fickle minded, I'm female. Duh!

At $9.90/kg, it's still quite pricey. But that's because it's still early days of the season. The city of Young, New South Wales, is the cherry capital of Australia, about 241km southwest of Sydney. We are still waiting for Dad to come home to go cherry picking in the orchards. In the meantime, these bought ones from the greengrocers will do.

Delectable, juicy, lush, seductive. ooh...don't have enough adjectives to describe having one in the mouth....yummm....

We bought some peaches and nectarines too. When we finish these we'll go get some apricots and plums next. 

Hurry up Brad, let's finish up all the fruits fast. Then Mama will go buy some more....meow!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Jacaranda on My Mind

You'll know it's spring in Sydney when the Jacaranda trees are flowering. I could see glorious display of blue/purple all over the suburb from our balcony. Aah....the blessing of living on the top floor.

Popped over to Wikipedia and found the following information.
"Several species are widely grown as ornamental plants throughout the subtropical regions of the world, valued for their intense flower displays. The most often seen is the Blue Jacaranda Jacaranda mimosifolia (syn. J. acutifolia hort. non Bonpl.).
Pretoria in South Africa is popularly known as The Jacaranda City due to the enormous number of Jacaranda trees planted as street trees and in parks and gardens. In flowering time the city appears blue/purple in colour when seen from the nearby hills because of all the Jacaranda trees. The time of year the Jacarandas bloom in Pretoria coincides with the year-end exams at the University of Pretoria and legend has it that if a flower from the Jacaranda tree drops on your head, you will pass all your exams. Other towns and cities in South Africa have Jacaranda trees, but none produce such a show as that of Pretoria.
The city of Brisbane, Australia has a local reputation of having a significant population of Jacaranda trees. The University of Queensland in the city's inner west has a very high concentration of the tree, and due to the impressive display of purple flowers in mid-Spring, which wind up littering vast sections of the suburbs, local folklore claims that "one won't start studying for exams until the jacarandas have molted". At Sydney University there exists a similar expression "by the time the jacaranda in the main quadrangle flowers, it's too late to start studying for exams".
This has led to the slang name "exam tree" or "purple panic" being attached to the plant. At the University of Queensland students even maintain a joke superstition that if a Jacaranda bloom falls on their head during exam time, they will fail an exam. The bad luck can be broken by catching another bloom before it hits the ground.
The reason for the Jacaranda's proliferation in Brisbane is often attributed to the thirties and forties, when new mothers leaving the maternity hospital were given a jacaranda sapling to plant.
Jacarandas in bloom have become closely associated with Brisbane and South East Queensland. The Brisbane City Council have used jacarandas to line avenues, and commercial developments in some areas, particularly along the Brisbane River have incorporated jacarandas into their landscape design. The trees are common in parks throughout the city, most notably in a long curved avenue in New Farm Park, in Goodna, and in private gardens. Brisbane's hilly geography allows views of the city and suburbs in which the brightly coloured flowers can be easily seen for miles. The jacaranda has become so much a part of the city's identity that contemporary art, particularly of streetscapes, often incorporates the flowering jacaranda, despite the fact that it only flowers for approximately six weeks from September through October.
The city of Grafton on the north coast of New South Wales, Australia, is also famous for its Jacarandas. Every October the city has a Jacaranda festival during the period of full bloom. A street parade, local public holiday and a series of events are held. A local public holiday sees the city's businesses perform street theatre for passers by and street stalls proliferate. A Jacaranda Queen and Jacaranda Princess are named at a formal ball.
The tree canopies in some of Sydney's north shore and harbour suburbs in the east have a dominant purple glow during late spring."

Well, Mama's not planning to take me to Grafton for the Jacaranda Festival. However, we were able to take some photographs in the grounds of Sydney University last weekend as Mama was there attending a business course. Enjoy the view.

A majestic and glorious specimen standing tall in front of the Student Union's Building.

Purple blooms against blue sky....what a sight.

Fallen blossoms were all over the pavements too.

Look at the centre - those are the much "feared" Jacaranda at the main quadrangle.

I feel like frolicking among those fallen blossoms...come join me.