Love Letter for Angelina

Dear Angelina,
I know that you've told people I'm your slave. Would like you to know I'm not the slightest bit offended by that remark. That goes to show you actually ackowledge my existence. Yes, I am your slave. Your slave of love....
I hope you'll like this box of flowers I got you. I'm not a rich guy and can't afford a dozen red roses. This bunch of pink and white is all I could afford. You know, slaves don't have much pocket money. But I've been saving for months, OK?

A box of flowers for Angelina.

I also saw this specially packaged box of chocolate and bought it for you. Hope you'll share it with me too. I don't have enough money to buy another box for me. I also had to turn away from the ice cream aisle though the Magnums were calling to me. aaarrrgh...


Special chocolates too...

I know, we haven't had the happiest life together. With you ignoring me all the time... But you would agree that it's lively. You always complain that I like to provoke you. Don't blame me, sweetheart. I do that to get your attention.
It breaks my heart when I read about you flirting with so many males, felines and humans, while you keep ignoring me. It's not as if we're blood siblings....Is it because I was a stray while you have pedigree blood in you? You're so snooty and choosy!
So, why am I writing this to you? I'm pathetic, ain't I?
Well, I'm not asking you to return my love. Just be, less cruel. OK?

Lots of love,

Your slave,
XOXO

Brad Pitt


Dear Brad,
Your letter came as a surprise. Never knew you have such intense feelings for me.
Anyway, thanks for the flowers and chocolates.
Do you realise that them flowers are not roses? It says "Lisianthus". They look like roses but they are not.

Clearly printed there - Lisianthus!

How can you expect me to return your love when you can't even read properly? Have to admit that they're quite pretty though.

Not roses but still pretty.

No, am not sharing the chocolates with you. I'm sharing them with Mama. hahahahaha....

Regards,
Angelina Jolie